2015 — Spillenger's Commonplace Book

About three weeks ago, I joined the world-renowned car service club Uber as a customer and had my first ride, which worked flawlessly. The guy arrived in less than 10 minutes, I was able to watch the car arrive on an iPhone map, and the driver was a pleasant bloke. I became an Uber apologist, an Uber fanboy even, because something, finally something, worked as promised. Technology and cleverness had combined to make something good happen. It did not destroy the environment; it did not exploit the workers; it was not a buttload of bullshit. It was, I believed, an example of progress. No more cabs that show up an hour late or not at all. No more cabbies who don't know where anything is, or, if they do, have no idea how to get there and are often completely at a loss to use their GPS. No more cabbies who jabber away non-stop into a cell phone in a language I don't understand and don't want to. A positive change had entered my world, and I was so completely unprepared for it that jubilance shut down my natural caution. Of course, I was cruisin' for a bruisin', and a bruisin' is exactly what I got.

Last week I was in New York "on business." Hard as it may be to believe, I had two important appointments I needed to get to. The morning of the first appointment, I put in my UberX request with my iPhone, just as before, except this time the phone tells me "there is a problem with [my] payment information. Please try scanning your credit card."

So, I do all the usual things -- I verify there is money in my account (there is), I look to see if there is a customer service number at Uber I can call to get this fixed (there isn't). My friend tries to order a car on her Uber account and she gets the same message. I try scanning my card (it doesn't work). I check my payment information (it's all in order). I am going to be late. Luckily, my friend has a good car service she uses in the neighborhood. It came, I went, and eventually I arrived at the appointment 15 minutes late. Which was not a good thing, because a lot was riding on this appointment and on me giving the impression I was a responsible, reliable person. Okay, so it might be a false impression, but I wanted to give it anyhow.

That night, I check my Uber account again, and it is still giving me the same error message. My friend, however, is able to get her account to work. Strange. But I figure by morning mine will be fixed as well. I'm an idiot, I know. I would have called if that were possible, but Uber doesn't take phone calls.

In the morning, I had to get up mighty early to pick up a Uhaul (don't ask) to drive a bunch of stuff in the middle of a snowstorm back to Maryland. I try to request a car from Uber. Same error message. In a panic, because moving guys are going to arrive at the storage place at 8:00 am and I have to be there when they do. I race for the subway. Everything works out okay. I get the Uhaul, and drive it to Manhattan Mini-Storage just before the moving guys arrive.

When I get back to Maryland, I email Uber and ask for an explanation. I don't hear back immediately. I go to return the Uhaul to Takoma Park the next day and think, maybe they fixed it and just didn't tell me. Not a chance. Still doesn't work. So I walk 3-1/2 miles in a snowstorm home. (You can't get a taxi on the street in this neighborhood; believe me, I've tried.)

At home, an answer is waiting.

Hi Paul,
Thanks for reaching out! I know you wanted to speak on the phone, but in order to give you the best support and have a record of any issues, we streamline communications through email.
Happy to help. It looks like your Uber account has been suspended as a security precaution.
To confirm your identity and payment method, can you provide the following?
1) a photo of the credit card linked to your Uber account in your name with only the last four digits, your name, and expiration date showing (you can cover the rest with paper or your finger)
2) a photo of your ID in the same name as your Uber account
Once that information is confirmed, I'll be happy to reactivate your account so you can be on your way.
Best,
Rachel
Uber Support

To which I reply:

I will send in the scans you requested under separate cover, but I find your response unsatisfactory. These are the reasons why.
1. You don't explain why my account was suspended "for security reasons" (whatever that means). I have no idea why you would do that. Is this something that's just going to happen from time to time for no reason? If so, why would I want to rely on your service?
2. If you're going to suspend someone's account, you might want to let them know BEFORE they suddenly learn about it when the service doesn't work and there's no way to call to rectify the situation then and there. You didn't do that.
3. Normally, when a customer reports this kind of issue, you're supposed to apologize. You're supposed to say, "Uber is very sorry for the inconvenience." Apologizing is something Earthlings do to make business and personal interactions such as this one go more smoothly. You didn't do that.
4. Normally, when a customer reports having been late to two important appointments and forced to walk a long way in a snow storm, because he relied on Just-Call-Us-10-Minutes-Before-and-We'll-Be-at-Your-Door Uber, the company, if it is reputable and wants to maintain its good reputation, offers to make it right somehow, perhaps in the form of a free trip. You didn't do that.
So, I will of course send you in the scans under separate cover. But I can't promise I will use your service in the future unless I get a better explanation than I've gotten thus far. Not can I promise I won't share my experiences with friends and family and on Facebook.
Paul Spillenger

This is the response I get.

Hi Paul,
Thank you for that and sorry for the trouble. I've enabled your account again so you're ready to ride. If there's anything else I can help with, please let me know.
Best,
Angie
Uber Support

So I get a "sorry," but it's not so much "We're sorry we did this to you" as "We're sorry you're so upset, you loser."

My reply:

Thank you, but.
You have not explained to me why my account was disabled -- what the reason for the “security precaution” was.
You have not explained to me why you would just disable my account without alerting me ahead of time that you were going to do this.
Ignoring my questions is not an answer to my questions. Therefore I conclude that you are refusing to answer my questions.
Since your marketing materials portray your company as user-friendly and user-responsive, it seems to me there is a disconnect between your marketing and reality, at least in my case. Because blowing off a customer’s questions does not seem user-friendly or user-responsive.
Paul Spillenger

And that is the state of things as I write. If there are indeed Earthlings involved in Uber, and one of them writes back with an explanation, an apology, or the offer of a free ride, I will be back in touch with you. Until then, I leave you with the most poignant of all ancient Greek aphorisms: pathos mathos.

He who suffers, learns. Or to use David Bromberg's translation, You've got to suffer if you want to sing the blues.