Voting

It’s been quite a few years since 2000, when Al Gore lost the presidency to El Busho.  But the same arguments used then to blame Ralph Nader’s candidacy for Gore’s defeat are still around, in what may be an even more reductive form.

The basic argument runs thus: Third-party candidates can’t win in this country; our only choice is between a Democrat and a Republican (though actually, the voting machines seem to imply that we can vote for whoever is on the ballot).  Therefore, since the most viable third-party candidates tend to come from the left-of-center regions, and since Democrats are (supposed to be) more “left-like” than Republicans, voting for third-party candidates hobbles the Democratic ones, the only ones that have a chance of winning (other than, of course, the Republicans).

“You’re just handing the Republicans the election!”  “A vote for Nader is a vote for Bush!”  “You’re wasting your vote!” (with a tone that suggests the violation of some sacred talisman).

In fact, people can get quite worked up about “the vote,” and how we’re wasting it – the best analogy might be masturbation, in which the precious semen/vote is wasted instead of being used to make a baby (or a president).  In fact, people seem to get more upset by this metaphorical masturbation than they do about the real thing.  It’s been a long time since anyone yelled at me about jerking off, but people seem always to be yelling at me for the way I vote.

Let me explain the Byzantine rules by which I vote.  It’s really complicated, so you’d better go and get a pencil and paper now so you can take notes.  Don’t worry – I’ll wait.

Okay, here it is: I vote for the person I think is the best candidate.

Let’s take a moment now to catch our collective breath; I know that was kind of abstract.  I don’t expect you to take it in all at once.  Try a little at a time.  Today, you can just work with the “I vote” part.  Tomorrow is soon enough to try “for the person” (Kant and Heidegger each spent years trying to penetrate that one!).

All right, enough leaden sarcasm.

I don’t claim to really understand how the system works.  I know many people who do think they know how the system works, but I am not one of them.  I am easily confused.  I like to stick to the basics: An election is where every citizen has the opportunity to cast a vote for the candidate that he or she thinks would do the best job (as defined by that voter).  In the U.S., each citizen wields roughly 1/316,000,000 of the power of the electorate (sort of – I’m kind of blurring the whole electoral college thing).  It’s a tiny little bit of power, granted, but we all have it, and the only way to waste it is to fail to take seriously the possibility that voting might be important.  Notice I didn’t say that the only way to waste it is not to vote.  Because you can take seriously the possibility that voting might be important and still not vote – say, because you think all the candidates are assholes.  Which I often do.

There’s no philosophical principle or law that says you must vote.  The voting police don’t round up all the people who didn’t vote and make them take high school civics again.  Nor would, I think, Jefferson or Adams have had any problem with the notion that one can choose not to vote as a matter of personal conscience.  And I kind of don’t give a shit if they did, because it doesn’t make sense to say that voting is always good and not voting is always bad.

Now, when I say I don’t know the rules, what I mean is this: I don’t know how to play the system.  I am not clever enough to figure out what consequences my vote will have.  It’s like me going into a casino in Vegas, thinking, “Hot damn, I’m going to put one over on those croupiers and walk out with a ton of moolah!”  Or better, I think of my vote as a cue ball on a billiards table.  I can aim it left or I can aim it right, but I don’t really know what the impact of my cue ball on all the other balls will be.  Similarly, I don’t vote because I know that voting will have a foreseeable consequence, as when I throw the ball, I know my dog Isabelle will chase  it.  No one can know the consequence of their one measly vote, which in a presidential election is potentially (though never actually) only one of 316 million votes.

Nor do I say, as I have heard it said by others, that Maryland, for example, always votes Democratic by a wide margin, so I don’t really need to vote.  That, you see, would be playing the game in an expert way, as one does when one understands how the system works.  I just vote for the person I think would be good.  I’m satisfied if I know that I have voted for someone I think would do a good job.  That’s all I want out of my vote.  I guess I have low expectations of my vote, but I do have some expectations.  These include informing myself somewhat about candidates in races I care about and not being completely full of shit.  If I claimed to be some kind of policy wonk or pundit who was savvy about electoral politics, I would be full of shit.

And here we come to the important point.  There is an idea and there is reality.  We claim to understand the distinction, though we don’t always observe it.  But you understand it when I say that America is both an idea and a reality.  America has been an experiment in many good things, things that hadn’t taken shape in the world before, some of which still don’t exist anywhere but here.  Good things, as I say, and one of these good things is the whole democracy thing: “government of the people, by the people, for the people.”  This seemed like a good idea at the time, and it is still a good idea.  But it is not reality.  Maybe it never really was completely (I’ll defer to my brother Clyde on this, as he’s the American historian in the family), but maybe it was a little more than it is now.  Be that as it may, we know that it is not reality now.

And as if to suddenly appear like Marshall McLuhan in Annie Hall to support my point, here comes this study by two Princeton University eggheads, Martin Gilens and Benjamin I. Page, whose conclusion can be summed up pithily as “the United States is no longer a democracy.”  They write:

The central point that emerges from our research is that economic elites and organized groups representing business interests have substantial independent impacts on U.S. government policy, while mass-based interest groups and average citizens have little or no independent influence.

As if we needed them to tell us this.  But in a sense we do need them, because, being Princeton researchers and all, they’re mainstreaming what all 316 million of us should have known already.

If you believe Gilens and Page, then, you will have some trouble getting your panties in a wad about voting for Ralph Nader in 2000, because that panty-wadding was based on the assumption that you could affect the outcome of the election in some way.  Or that 10 of you could.  Or a hundred or a thousand or a million could.  But people don’t elect leaders; corporations do.  We are now officially an oligarchy, a plutocracy – not a democracy.  Our elected officials – yes, even Obama – do only what the corporations allow them to do.  Every perceived progressive win in government policy or personnel is a sop to make us feel that the system works and that we’re a part of it.

I remember when the MTA wanted to raise the cost of a subway token a couple of decades ago.  It released its plan which called for an increase to $1.75.  The riding public was outraged, they held protests, and the MTA appeared to back down: The increase would only be to $1.50.  The people rejoiced!  Democracy in action!  Except that the MTA had wanted the $1.50 fare all along; It started with $1.75 so that the citizens could enjoy the illusion that they’d had an impact on policy.

As with the subway, so with American government policy.  No policy will be allowed that substantially erodes the status quo and costs the corporations serious dough.  If it looks like it is, it’s only an illusion – multinational corporations’ pockets are far deeper than most of us know.  What seems to us like a huge fine or a stunningly onerous regulation has all been worked out in advance so that it will, in reality, have the smallest possible impact on big business, while at the same time giving the impression that democracy works, and that our voices count.  It is naïve to believe otherwise.

People sometimes come up to me and exclaim that this or that show on commercial television is “edgy” or “subversive” or “speaking truth to power.”  As someone who’s worked in commercial TV for the last 14 years, I can tell you with certainty that nothing gets on commercial TV unless it’s had its balls removed first.  If it’s on TV, it’s no longer dangerous; the advertisers simply wouldn’t allow it.  Commercial television networks are the bitches of the advertisers; they do what they’re told.  Even “The Simpsons,” which appears to be “sticking it to The Man,” is eunuched.  Ever read “Civilization and Its Discontents”?  Maybe a little Gramsci on a cold winter’s night?  In a system like ours, all rebellion is co-opted into harmless forms, and rebels turned into lobotomized Randle McMurphies that can join the general population as upstanding citizens.  The art form of American politics is lobotomy.

No company is going to underwrite an activity that will cost it money or call into question the basic underpinnings of our corporatized economy.

As with TV, so with government.

So, to return to the year 2000 and the kvetchy, tiresome lament that voting for Nader cost Gore the election, and that voting for a third-party candidate is a cardinal sin, I take a position that strikes me as a nice balance between the idea and the reality.  As a lover of the idea of America, I vote for the person I think will be good – often the person whose beliefs don’t offend my own and who seems smarter than a turnip; but as someone who is basically in favor of acknowledging reality, I know perfectly well that my vote – anyone’s vote – is not what determines what we do as a nation and as a culture; that this is in the hands of the oligarchs.  I don’t waste my time second-guessing my inclination because I believe the person I’m voting for is “unelectable.”  I have yet to hear any argument that convinces me I should.

Finally, I want to point out that when people get all huffy about electable this and electable that, they are in effect buying into this whole notion of a two-party system – not just buying into it but becoming fervent apologists for it!  And this is the most logically fallacious part of the whole shtick.  The two-party system tells us, and has told us for as long as I’ve been alive, that when election time comes, we have the choice between two people: the Democrat and the Republican.  Now the reason these two candidates are viable is that they’ve raised a lot of money – enough money to be “taken seriously” as candidates for public office.  But how does one “raise money”?  You guessed it!  You whore yourself out to special interests and corporate contributors.  (See the Princeton study, above.)  Virtually no one gets elected without a little whoring here and there, and most do more than just a little.  So, by endorsing the two-party system, ands voting for candidates you think can win, all you are doing is a sustaining a corrupt system.  As long as we only have two old whores to choose from, we will never marry the beautiful princess.  The only reason third-party candidates “can’t get elected” (if we ever see them at all) is that they don’t have enough corporate and special interest contributions to make themselves visible, let alone compete.  So, we have a nice example here of circular reasoning.  Don’t vote for Nader because he’s unelectable in the two-party system we endorse; and as long as we endorse it, Nader will never be able to raise enough money to be electable; therefore, the two-party system will exist in perpetuity and we will be exhorted never, ever to vote your conscience, because that would be “wasting your vote.”

(Gore didn’t lose because Nader ran.  Gore was a shitty candidate.  Uninspiring, flat and so eager to do a Clinton middle-of-the-road thing that there was really nothing to vote for.  Gore was far more interesting after politics than he was when he was running for president. 

In Florida, 24,000 registered Democrats voted for Nader.  More than 300,000 voted for Bush.  Chew on that.)

I submit that it is actually this addiction to the status quo, to the way things are now (another word for that is conservatism, not to say reactionary-ism), that causes us to “waste our vote.”  Since we aren’t deciding anything anyway, it is only an illusion to think we are accomplishing something by voting for the “Hobson’s Choice” – between candidates who are ever more indistinguishable one from the other.  Of course, it is self-described liberals who always give me a hard time for my position, so it’s more than a little ironic that they champion such a patently reactionary view.

If we want to break out of this national trap we’re in, we’re going to have to do better than concede all the strategic ground to the forces that want to keep things exactly as they are (because they profit from them).  And we have to stop this ridiculous habit of growling at people like me who simply vote for the candidate they like.  If your position requires you to say something twisted like that, it may be time to rethink your position.

The Short Hairs and Who's Got You By Them

Just in case you needed reminding.

So I'm an Alliant Credit Union customer because I think I want to strike a blow against the big evil banks by not giving them my puny business.  And two years ago I have a couple of insufficient funds episodes and as punishment they take away my web deposit privileges.

Now, for those of you unfamiliar with this feature, web deposit lets you scan in your checks and submit them for deposit over the web.  For many institutions, this might not be a critical service, but when you are with Alliant Credit Union, which has no physical banks anywhere and relies on a network of allied banks most of which do not exist anymore, the only way to deposit checks is web deposit.  Well, you could fly to Chicago, where they do have one actual building, but that seems inefficient.

Completely aside from the inconvenience of there being no easy way to GIVE THEM YOUR MONEY SO THEY CAN INVEST IT AND MAKE MONEY FOR THEMSELVES, it's fucking ridiculous for banks to be "punishing" their customers in this way when they bounce a check.  The fees alone are punitive.  Are they British public schools where they take away "privileges" when you misbehave?

Well, I was barred from web deposit for 6 months.  Six months!  Six months in which I had to search and search high and low for some place where I could actually deposit a payheck.  I called them, I reasoned with them, but to no avail.  So, I closed my accounts and found a different bank.

I opened a checking account at TD Bank, the "friendly" bank where they stay open on Sundays.  They told me that I would have to wait 3 months before I could use their mobile deposit feature but after then I could use it all I wanted.  This sounded okay.  So I waited 3 months, and today I tried to deposit my biweekly paycheck and was told that I had "exceeded my limit" for mobile deposit.

Okay.  What the fuck does THIS mean?  Well, it turns out -- and of course they don't tell you this when you're considering opening an account with them -- that though it's true you can use mobile deposit after 90 days, you can only deposit $1,000 a day for the next three months, at which time you get to deposit the enormous sum of $2500.  

Now, I'm no Daddy Warbucks, but I do make more than $1,000 every two weeks.  So, mobile deposit is pretty much useless.  And as it turns out, the nearest TD Bank is -- you guessed it -- far fucking away.  I have to drive to it.  And there is no parking.

You might reasonably ask why they would want to make it harder for you to GIVE THEM YOUR FUCKING MONEY SO THAT THEY CAN INVEST IT IN GOD KNOWS WHAT WICKED AND FUCKED-UP CORPORATIONS AND MAKE OODLES MORE MONEY WITH WHICH TO FUCK US IN YET MORE FUCKED-UP WAYS THAN THEY ALREADY DO.  The answer is simple and it is somewhat depressing.  Stop reading now if you don't want to be bummed out.

The answer is that they figure thusly: If you've already gone to the trouble of opening an account with them, transferring your automatic payments to their bank, had some checks printed up, etc., you're going to stay with them no matter what, out of sheer inertia.  They advertise a wonderful convenience and then it turns out it doesn't exist.  So what do you do?  You drive to the ONE FUCKING TD BANK in thousands of miles and search for a parking space for an hour and deposit your money there.  And what is the result of this?  For them, absolutely nothing.  For you, inconvenience and another sweet opportunity to be fucked again.  

Why would they do something like this?  Because they can.  Because they went to a banker seminar in St. Petersburg, Fla., and learned the ins and outs of the bait and switch.  They learned that you entice customers with the promise of goodies that you never have any intention of delivering, and that 81.6% of the sad little fuckers you shaft in this way will stay with you anyway.

And what, you ask, can you do about this?  Absolutely nothing.  Because they've got you by the short hairs and they know it and you know it and every fucking transvestite and baptist minister, every salami slicer and dog poop collector, every farmer greenjeans and jelly roll morton from sea to shining sea knows it too. 

How does that make you feel?  Maybe it doesn't make you feel anything, which means for all intents and purposes you're dead.  Maybe it makes you feel proud to be an American, in which case you really should be dead.  And maybe, just maybe, it pisses you off.

I am really pissed off, and, short of putting all my wads of dough in a mattress, there seems to be damn little I can do about it.  

Which of course doesn't improve my mood in the least.

L Train, 6 p.m.

L Train, 6 p.m.

I was on the L train crossing town from 8th Ave. to 3rd.  It is March, the last month I will ever see the 10th St. apartment in which I grew up and my father died.  I am living here now, have been for a few months, dealing with Ray’s artwork.  Anyway, I was on the L train and I notice this pretty girl sitting down in the crowded car.  She’s pretty, but she also has a sweetness to her, she seems too young for her looks.  The world hasn’t gotten its hooks into her yet, and she is unspoiled.  She feels quiet, and self-possessed, but a little wary too, as one must be on a New York subway.  


I go about my business, which is just to stand there while the steel lozenge lurches east, taking in the multifarious stimulation of the impossibly various group.  Then I sense movement to the left and there is that wonderful moment you sometimes get in New York where someone offers something generous and kind and the other person’s reflex is to refuse it: No, I’m okay, I’m not in need of help or succor.  Please, you don’t need to … and then the acquiescence … the gorgeous melting where they think they might accept it, I am so tired and these bags are so heavy and maybe it’s okay … and before you know it, the woman with the shopping bags is dropping onto the bench, and the pretty girl is moving away, in my general direction, with no particular awareness of me, as far as I can tell.  Who knows how she sees me, if she sees me at all?  An older man, an unshaven man, a fat man, a tall man, a man with a funny hat.  Perhaps I am something like her father, or the kind of presence her father warned her about.  But she is savvy enough to know not to meet my eye, even if she were inclined to, even if the smallest speck of curiosity about another human being on the subway train arose in her.  And she just stands there and seems engrossed by the advertisements that promise healthy, attractive skin in just 2 weeks, thanks to a revolutionary new citrus technique devised by a board-certified dermatologist in Astoria.  


But I am aroused by her kindness.  Not sexually aroused, but roused in the heart, as if my heart had been sleeping and an unlooked-for moment of human soulfulness had disturbed my sleep and forced me to look around the car with eyes scrubbed clean.  “That was very nice of you,” I said to the girl.  And just around the time I got finished saying the word “was,” she looked up into my eyes, and they twinkled, those eyes, the way eyes twinkle when a person is really smiling, and then the rest of her face followed, a smile shy and tentative in the mouth but bold in the irises.  “Thank you,” she said.


Which is all it takes, really, to rediscover a small portion of faith in life, in people, in the notion that there might be something worth saving in us after all, something worthwhile.  So pummeled are we by the technology and the politics and the noise and the media and the loss of something, we don’t remember quite what it was but it has traveled far from us, just far enough that, like Tantalus, we reach out for it always but it stays just beyond our reach.  Some thing we used to love about life, some fun, some warmth — that surely went along with fear and pain too, but baby with the bathwater! we got full-service numbing.  We numbed the pain, and we numbed the joy.  I mean joy!  Not some bargain-basement, third-rate passing moment of pleasure.  But the real thing, the joy of falling in love — with people, with leaves and sunsets, with riffs and pastels, with the truly comic shenanigans of the mind.  This we forget.  Except we don’t completely forget, and when it seems to hover in the distance there’s something we recognize, something vaguely familiar, and we want it to come closer so we can examine it.  And when she smiles, and her hazel eyes glitter, and she says thank you, we too feel ourselves touched by something we’d kept in a room with the door shut.


All this transpired in the time it takes the L to get from 8th Ave. to Union Square, and when the doors opened, the girl turned around and gave me an even more lovely smile: “Have a good evening,” she said, and walked out of my life.  I felt joy in that moment, and the crazy thing is you can get to the point, if you’re lucky, where encounters like these don’t end when the girl walks off the train.  Because it was not the girl at all, but the possibility of the girl, the possibility of communion, of a shared smile between strangers.  Something not corrupt or cynical, something not corporate!  Something that required no technology or additional information.  Just a smile, unbound to history, to place or time.  And in the smile is born hope.